Cleaning Messes

Calling all parents!

How frustrating is it when you ask your child to clean up their room?  Doesn't it seem as though the mess just gets bigger and bigger every time?  In my house, it drives me mad!  

Our home is a bit cramped and it seems to get tinier and tinier every time my daughter gets even one new toy.  Grrr!  How many times can you tell your child to clean up after an activity before starting the next?   I can't tell you how many times I have cleaned up for her simply because I was tired of yelling, begging and pleading to still only end up with a half done room!  Even then, it wasn't done right.  Mostly, she just shoved as much as she could into a corner after "working on it " all day.  Frustrating right?  

Time and again I found myself angrily redoing her cleaning job so that it will actually be clean.  There had to be a better way I told myself over and over.  While I'm cleaning up her mess, being bitter and yelling at her how I am not the maid, she is just standing there looking at her feet.  This is not the parent I pictured I would be.  I am tired, frustrated and stressed to the max. But this isn't the worst part.  The worst part was seeing the effect my own feelings were having on her.  

It wasn't until I decided to clean out a closet and found myself surrounded by a mess I had created, and feeling overwhelmed at where to start, did I have an epiphany.  If I, an adult with much experience in cleaning and organizing, could feel so overwhelmed and unsure of where to start...my child must feel the same!  

The next time her room got out of hand I decided to say a Hail Mary and offer her my help.  We cleaned out the toy box, made alms giving bags of toys and puzzles, and organized the rest of what she was keeping...together! We even had some fun and laughs.  I didn't yell.  I didn't feel angry.  At the end the room was in order, we had some things to give away to those less fortunate (in the spirit of Lent) and it didn't take up our entire day!  

I started thinking back in my life.  How many messes have I made?  And not just the physical ones.  I mean the ones where maybe instead of saving, I spent and then needed it.  Or how about when you let words you didn't even mean slip out and damage a relationship, because you were angry or feeling hurt?  Every mess I have made, Christ was with me; the gentle, loving Father helping me to clean up the mess.  How many messes has He cleaned up for you?  He is always ready to help us out, even when it's our own fault.  

Thank you Lord for always helping me and giving me this opportunity to learn from you.

Hebrews 13:5-6

"I will never leave you, nor forsake you."  So we can confidently say,  " The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?"

Her Goliath

Since kindergarten, my daughter has been picked on and bullied.  No one can ever understand why this happens. The truth of the matter is, it has more to do with the self esteem of the bully than it does any trait of the bullied.

Most bullied children have one thing in common, they show the bully that they have affected them.  If they see they have effectively upset you, they will continue to berate you.

I have continually tried to teach my daughter that she doesn't have to be afraid and should stand up for herself, or completely ignore it. Unfortunately, neither happened.

Fast forward to second grade.  I received a phone call no parent ever wants to get, especially concerning their young child.  My daughter had had enough when a girl in her class told her what to do.  She lost it!  She screamed out that she wanted to die because of said girl.

Now, she said she didn't mean it; That she was just upset, but my heart ached.  I prayed and cried while I watched her sleep that night.  There had to be a way to put an end to this.  We can't eliminate bullying overnight, so I had to find a way to strengthen her and boost her confidence.  I called my parish and made an appointment for her to speak with one of our priests.

The day came to see the priest for counselling.  We both went into his office.  He listened carefully and offered a lot of faith based ideas.  We ended the meeting with a prayer and she immediately felt better and more engulfed in God's love.

Then I found Superbook cartoons!  She watched the story of David and Goliath.  She watched this episode over and over! She still can't get enough of it!  If you don't know the story, David, a small but clever shepard boy, is the anointed one of God who defeats Goliath.  Goliath is the giant of the Philistine's army sent to take over Israel.  David  becomes king of Israel.

She came home from school a few days ago a completely different child.  Not only have her tormentors stopped bothering her, but she stood up to a bully in defense of another child! My little, quiet, fearful child has become like David!

I asked her if she was afraid and her response was why should she be?  She has God!!!

http://us-en.superbook.cbn.com/gizmonote/g106

God is good all the time, and all the time God is good!!!

Make A Difference

A few weeks ago I was asked to speak to the new RCIA class at my parish.  I completed that program almost a year ago.  For those that are not familiar, RCIA is an adult CCD program.  It is a very in depth class culminating in receiving the three main Sacraments at the Easter Vigil, rather than receiving them over a span of years like children do.

I was honored to have been asked to give my testimony, but was also very nervous.  Speaking in front of a group of people known, or unknown to me, has always stirred my anxiety.  I spent the last few weeks desperately trying to come up with something encouraging and inspiring to say to the catechumen.  I mulled over a plethora of ideas, none of which seemed so great.   While they served their basic purpose of complimenting the program and its wonderful, voluntary teachers, they were less than awe inspiring.  I needed a fire!

I prayed and prayed asking Christ to help me.  I needed a speech, not too long and drawn out and not so short as to give the appearance of dismissiveness.  I felt a bit overwhelmed.  I mean, becoming a Catholic is beautiful for yourself of course, but what does it really mean to be a Catholic or a follower of Christ in any denomination?  It means becoming a disciple.  Christ called us to evangelize, to spread the Gospel and make disciples of all the world.  We are called to be different and to make a DIFFERENCE.

This morning I brought my daughter to her usual mass to join her choir and left her in the care of her doting father.  I was to speak to the class during that mass.  I kissed her goodbye and made my way to the rectory.  My heart was pounding, and I felt physically awkward, but excited to see the new faces.  I couldn't go directly in.  I needed another moment to speak with the Holy spirit and ask Him again to speak what they needed to hear through me.  I was on fire!!!  I felt His presence coursing through me as I delivered words in a fashion only He could have!  Praise be to God!

I was told I was welcome to stay for the rest of the class if I wished.  I considered quietly leaving and getting the tail end of my daughter in the children's choir but He wanted me to stay.  I was blessed at the end of class when a young lady approached me and told me that she felt a connection to what I had said; that it resonated with her.  My prayer had been answered!  Christ, through me, made a difference!!!

I am the one who was blessed. These fresh faces give me hope when we are surrounded by so much darkness.  I now understand the joy of watching catechumens become Catholics.  Praise the Lord and may He bless you!!!